AI: The Top Seven (or Adam and His Six Backup Singers)

Mike: And that was Kenneth with his all-too-literal rendition of 'I Touch Myself'.

Well, it’s been a couple weeks since I’ve done a AI recap. And not because I don’t care or I’m lazy. More because we have too many things recording on the damn DVR and only two TVs with which to record. See how I was careful not to end that sentence in a preposition? HA! I’m so proper.

Anyhoo, so my Megan is gone. ::sniff:: I know she made some bad song choices, but I loved that Amy Winehouse/Adele sound she had going on. Of course Annoying Blind Guy is also gone, so I’m doing okay. That softened the blow. Only seven left now! Or I as like to call them, Adam Lambert and his six future backup singers. If his understated take on Tracks of My Tears or last weeks’ Simon’s Standing O-inspiring Mad World didn’t do it, what about this week, hmmm?

The theme? Movie Themes. I see annoying ballads coming. And this week’s “mentor”…Quentin Tarantino? Um…really? Sure, he knows a lot about movies…and even using music effectively in his movies (think John Travolta and Uma Thurman dancing in Pulp Fiction for starters) but give me a break. Sure, if I wanted to know the best way to survive being buried alive or replace my missing leg with a submachine gun, he’d be my guy, but singing? Not so much. Nevermind that I think the guy’s a complete psycho (I know, medical term) and his speaking voice is akin to me running a cheese grater over my lady parts. Whatever.

Hmmm. It seems AI’s solution to the running-over-on-time debacle (didn’t affect me since we also record Fringe, which is on immediately after AI, so I did catch Adam’s marvelous rendition and the resulting standing O) is to have only two judges comment on each performance…oh, and completely ruin that fix by adding a bunch of useless, boring packages on the contestants. Let’s fire some show directors! Geez.

ALLISON: "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from Armageddon
I’m a big Aerosmith fan, but if anyone could take on a big song rock ballad like this and soar with it, it’s Miss Iraheta. Yikes, she struggled at first- could it be there are notes actually out of her range? She finally got in the groove there, showed her stuff. And I’m glad, because I thinking Lil Rounds isn’t gonna hold out much longer, meaning, Miss Allison is the girls’ only chance at a finale spot. Wow, Simon seems to agree- that was harsh. I wish she would have held out the last note, but still very strong.

ANOOP: "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" from Robin Hood
Not a fan of this overly-sappy, too-long song to begin with, and…is anyone else over Anoop? ‘Cause I am. ::yawn:: Okay, he hit all the notes. Nice tone and all, he’s a good singer but…even he look bored with his own performance, and he’s watched too many cheesy episodes of American Bandstand. WHO ARE YOU POINTING AT? Annoying. Eh.

::drumroll please::

ADAM!!!!! “Born To Be Wild” from Easy Rider
DAMMIT, he’s just awesome. He hits every note and doesn’t just hit them, he wails. I cannot take my eyes off him when he sings, and I swear if one more person disses on the hair or the eyeliner, I’m going to beat them with my shoe. He’s just a star, period. Just the breath support alone. He can sing anything, and if that’s not fair to the other contestants, so be it. GET OVER IT, the guy just rocks. (not sure what Paula’s whole dancing on the path crap was about but I just chalk it up to the bathtub gin and painkillers and move on).

MATT: “Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman” from Don Juan DeMarco
Urgh. Crappy movie, crappier song. “Here, Bryan Adams, this is a long, droning music track. Go try to fill it with some words, m’kay?” “Okay, this track is crap, so I’ll just say the word ‘really’ 37 times in the each chorus and problem solved!” Sorry, just do not like this song, and Matt’s rendition wasn’t much better. It’s hard to go much with that song unless you’ve got some arranging skills and are willing to really take a risk (Ahem, Adam). He seemed to almost crack on some notes and the whole number seemed awkard. He does have some great presence, though.

DANNY: “Endless Love” from Endless Love
Cheese alert! Love Danny, but this song is another cheesy ballad. And honestly, all I can think of when I hear it is the ice hockey rink scene from Happy Gilmore. However, Danny can pretty much sing anything, so I’ll try to be fair. Nice to see him without the glasses, and he really can do a ballad. Nice instrumentation and he’s very expressive, though he does one of my pet peeves- he waves his arm like he’s conducting himself. Distracting. Overall, though, really liked it. Solid. Enjoyable.

KRIS: “Falling Slowly” from Once
(Okay side note, you’ve GOT to see this movie if you haven’t yet. So incredible, and a gorgeous song.) This is first night I’ve actually liked Kris AT ALL. He’s just been very “Eh” to me all season, just another decent-looking guy that can strum the guitar and hit some notes, but I loved what he did with this one, especially at the end. Nice! I think the judges were a little harsh, jeez.

LIL: “The Rose” from The Rose
What’s it gonna take for you to sing some Whitney “Crack Is Whack” Houston, dammit? Hello?!? Bodyguard? This was your last chance to blow it away, and ya BLEW IT! (not to mention the Western Slut R Us look you had going on) AND not to mention that I’m a huge Bette fan, and I can’t stand this song (or any song by her) not getting done the right way. The song is supposed to be simple but powerful, and instead it came out sounding like something at a religious version of Hee Haw. Ugh!! But poor Lil. Between Simon’s comment about Allison being the only hope for the girls, and he obvious displeasure in her in general, I felt bad for the girl. Then she went and argued with Simon and got cut off for time reasons. She should just go home this week.

Best: Adam. There was no one else near him tonight.
Strong: Kris, Allison
Worst: Lil, and I think she’s going home, though Anoop or Matt could be in trouble, too.